I walk over to the guy and ask if he is hurt anywhere. The guy says not really. I check him for injuries but he doesn't have any. So finally I ask the man what caused him to run his car in the ditch. The guy says, "I was speeding around these curves. I needed to get to Tom's house before he leaves. Tom is a pornographer, dope dealer and child molester and I am gonna kill him!" Next this man proceeds to tell me and the officer how he has permission to from the CIA to stalk and hunt child molesters. He is a black ops agent.
At this point the officer says, "Have you ever taken a field sobriety test?" The officer shows the man 3 times how to walk heel to toe before he agrees to try it. The man hunches down into a runner's starting squat, breathes deep a couple of times, stands up fast and walks heel to toe. This was pretty funny to watch, especially when he did it the 2nd time going in the opposite direction. I was holding my breath waiting for this man to take off in a dead run. He finishes his second walk and announces with pride, "I did it!"
The cop looking disinterested states, "I have one more task for you." The man says with disbelief, "I can't stand on one foot." The cop asks him to stand on one foot and count to thirty. The man raises his left leg and starts to count. "1,2,3,.....24,25, TOM, YOU ARE A CHILD MOLESTER AND YOU ARE GOING TO DIE,26,27,28,29,30. I did it, YES!!! I passed your test." The victory dance ensues. The cop states flatly, "Put your hands on the hood." The victory dance ends suddenly. The man is placed in cuffs and he sits in the back of the patrol car. We drove away while the man was in the back of the patrol car talking to himself.
